Nerd. Purveyor of Shenanigans and Bacon.
The things low-carbers text me generally rock my socks when we’re keeping in touch across the miles. Case in point: Here are the kinds of carb-deprived keto commentaries I receive on a semi-daily basis from my college student. I’ll mention here, on the record, that he’s pretty ridiculously rad (some might say I’m biased. That’s on you, my friend. That’s on you).
Happy Tue Tue!
How are you sexy beasts? I have admittedly been busy with a spankload of items. I know…I never write. I never call…
To whit:
The takeaway: Keep your LinkedIn page updated because it’s magic.
The takeaway. My navel’s even so fat, they were worried it would absorb the staple and then ask for seconds.
That said, I’m back and I’ll write at least once a week so long as you keep reading. I’ll let you know what I’m eating and doing so you can follow along.
I love keto. In my day, we called it Atkins, because he was the only game in town. Nowawdays, it’s called keto. I think that’s cool. And people don’t accidentally hear you saying you follow the “Napkins” diet. I don’t eat napkins. Though right now I might look like I might, especially if a donut was stuck to it.
I’m back on day 2 of low-carb, and I’m feeling pretty legit, so we’ll talk more about that, too.
Okay so it’s not a real black bear. In fact, it’s more along the lines of a Black Bear Diner.
When I asked my son which restaurant he most wanted to visit, he said, “I’d like a Black Bear Diner Big Bear Deluxe Burger.”
That’s great, I thought, as I nodded to my 23-year-old son, excited with glee at wrapping his mitts around the commendably-sized portions of beef and bread. I’ll just order my usual taco salad minus the beans (pictured left) and the shell and call it a low-carb day. There’s no reason to go crazynuts after all.
Alas, that was a nice plan, wasn’t it?
Today, however, the side of my face is imprinted with QWERTY keys from resting on my laptop and my stomach wants to show me what Old Faithful can do. Even the bacon I cooked this morning isn’t sitting well in that churning, gurgling cesspool of indigestion.
Sure, I went into the restaurant bedecked with black bear caricatures and kelly green wall coverings anticipating a little something extra. I mean, I deserved a few extra carbs after over two solid weeks of Atkins ’72 and 17 pounds lost. What’s the harm in the taco salad with the shell and with the refried beans so long as I placed them to the side, grabbing a small bite here or there as needed?
Only I didn’t order that. Oh no. I could have, but I didn’t. Instead, I made eyes at the menu’s Patty Melt, and she gave me eyes back. It was a little like the Katy Perry song, only I didn’t plan to lip lock a girl; I planned to embrace Patty. Oh, Patty. And because it was a smaller meal, it only (?!) clocked in at 910 calories and 100 carbs. As many carbs as I typically eat in an entire week–combined.
After my moments with Patty, and feeling very little pain (probably the carb rush and endorphins), the dessert menu magically appeared at the table. As I stared down at the dancing bears beckoning me to partake in something delectable, I told myself why not? I’ll share the triple brownie fudge sundae, so it wasn’t like I was eating the whole thing myself. Besides, did I deserve this?
450 more calories and 100 more carbohydrates full of dessert, I walked out of the restaurant feeling full.
But alas. That was yesterday. Today. Today! Today, with a runny nose and water weight gain of 2 pounds, I’m feeling like I’ve been smacked with the barfy stick. I haven’t felt this bad since I had the flu a few months ago. I feel, in a word, miserable. Oh, Patty! How could you?
As remnants of Black Bear Diner apple crumble leftovers waft through the air every time I open the refrigerator, I announced loudly I’d pay anyone a dollar to eat it. Heck they didn’t even have to eat it. They could throw it in the shrubs. Who knows? Maybe a black bear will find it. I think I might just deserve to see that.
I’ve never been one for New Year’s Resolutions. To me, they’re promises no one ever really intends to keep for the purposes of buying exercise equipment (unless your resolution is to buy exercise equipment).
And it’s pretty apparent to those who know me that I possess a lot of patience only sometimes (I was done shopping the Cyber Monday sales in July).
When I moved from Colorado to Idaho, that 135 pound weight loss dwindled as I started re-gaining the weight I’d purposefully shed through a year of effort and exercise. I’m not happy to report I’m back up about 70 pounds, in fact. That’s pretty terrible. Sure, I can posit, it’s a heck of a lot better to be 65 pounds down than not at all.
At the same time, gaining 70 back has been frustrating for someone who worked so hard to get to a healthier place and who focuses on helping others also accomplish those goals.
So then what?
My Plan: To live 2016 like it’s 1986.
That’s right. Because back in 1986, at an Atkins teen, I was the most fit and healthy (and thin) I’d ever been. Thanks to my dad, who’d lost 80 pounds in 6 months with high-fat, moderate protein choices, our entire family felt the benefits of making those same choices. Sure, we’d occasionally eat off plan, but for the most part we were sticking to the knowledge of Dr. A and following the rules and guidelines that worked for him, too.
My diet plan: To follow 1972 Atkins
Back in 1986, I was also exercising pretty religiously. And while I know that for many following a ketogenic diet that exercise isn’t necessarily necessary, for me it was–and still is–for weight loss. I just feel better when I’m exercising and I know it helps boost my metabolism. In short, I’m doing it. With my trust Fitbit HR on my wrist, I’ll be tracking my movement every day.
My exercise plan: To put in meaningful aerobic movement every day for at least 30 minutes.
And because I can’t wait for anything, I started two days ago, just to know I could.
My accountability plan: To share what I’m doing so you can see how it works for an old school Atkins fan revisiting the pork rinds of her past. I’ll keep a food diary here during the week, minimally, and I’ll share how I’m doing so you can follow along–and even join in.
Granted, I’m not a doctor, so none of this is meant as nutritional or medical advice. I’m just a girl who plans to shed junk from my trunk so I don’t look stupid in my bathing suit next summer. This is my goal and I’m determined to achieve it. If I don’t, at least I have the option of looking at the sculpting and slimming collection from a retailer like Hermoza, (https://thehermoza.com/collections/sculpt) so at least I can still look beautiful in a bathing suit. I’ve heard that they’ve got some gorgeous pieces. However, I would personally prefer to try and lose some weight before the summer months come around. Plus, it’s much easier to walk on Boise slippery surfaces in the winter when there’s less of the bad stuff trying to bring me down. Fat’s not as cushiony as Charmin…
Sure, there’ll be new recipes coming, too, so stay tuned! Subscribe, tell your friends, tell their friends and let me know what’s helping you.
Chances are, it’s helping me, too. And when it comes down to it, couldn’t we all use a little bit of that?
Hi there! This is me. I have lost 125 pounds to date.
I still have a heck of a lot more to go, but it feels so amazing to not have to worry about things like waking up with a sore back or twisting my ankle due to excessive weight.
I can work at my desk for hours with no problems, and I get buggy now, which is nice since I have the energy to be physically antsy.
I can even sit in the back seat of a car and I fit into the seat belt, which, as many of us who have lost a lot or who have a lot left to go (keep working at it!), that’s a major accomplishment!
Of course, losing weight isn’t easy, but it’s great having a job because I’m out of the house and focused on things other than just food. As well, ever since I ditched my perfectionist leanings, even when I stall, I still keep going because I love the way I feel.
When I work from home, I tend to snack more. When I have to go into work, I have to cook before I leave the house, but it ensures I have something enjoy later for lunch. I pack bento these days and have three boxes! And I have to say I much prefer going into the office, not just because it’s helping me lose weight but just because it makes my job a lot easier. I know a lot of people would disagree with this, especially those younger employees who love working in the comfort of their own home. I suppose it suits some people. As long as people have a good internet connection, such as one of these midco internet plans, they should be able to work from home with few problems. I, personally, prefer being in the office, but I can see why some people prefer being at home.
I mean when I go to the office, I can store documents in the confidential filing cabinets with ease, and can take them out when I need to. I can’t do that at home. But then some days I don’t even need these documents and I can just work with ease. It really just depends on what needs doing. But at least the good news is, I’m losing weight!
I’ll share pictures of those soon, along with more pictures of my cubicle (I told you I was going to share fluffy stuff)….
I love working because it’s always something new and exciting every day, and I get to exercise my creative self (even if my physical self laughs at the prospect of doing anything that breaks an actual sweat). Maybe I’ll share some of what I’m working on eventually! But only if you’re interested.