Simple kicks tail when it comes to everything in life. When it’s your diet? It doesn’t get much more simple than old school diet plans. Regardless the regimen you’re following, you already deal with occasional stink eye when you mention you’re doing keto. Mention you follow a plan that’s almost 45 years old and people are going to give you crap about it.
The question is, can you take that crap? Are you tough enough to hang with the kids on the diet playground when the smack starts flying like five year old fists of fury? There’s no room for sissies here, my friend. This is all or nothing. Play for keeps. The dodge ball to the face of diet shade.
Let’s just see if you can swing it.
You know, your diet’s so old…
– Disco wacka-chicka music plays every time you crack the cover.
– The book mentions prohibition.
– Abe Lincoln was a testimonial.
– It’s written in Sanskrit.
– On papyrus.
– All the serving sizes are in Roman numerals.
– Pterodactyls are induction approved.
– Atkins mentions his experience at the Last Supper.
– And the first Thanksgiving.
– It mentions getting salt from the almost-Dead-but-still-hanging-in Sea.
– The book’s writer sat next to Ben Franklin in kindergarten.
– Atkins told Eve apples weren’t okay until after induction.
– He knew the Burger King when he was just a prince.
– The book was dedicated to the Flintstones.
– Atkins records his menus on the Mayan calendar.
– He okayed the Boston Tea Party, so long as they limited the heavy cream to 2 teaspoons.
– He knew Captain Crunch when he was still a private.
– Socrates gave his glowing review on the back of the book.
– Betsy Ross wrote the recipes.
When it comes to fighting fire with fire, just make sure you give as good as you get. Unless there’s bacon involved. Because then there’s just get. It’s bacon.
But then your plan is so old, you think I mean Sir Francis Bacon.